I am here to tell you the world is a wonderful place. It takes a cold soul to be dour on a Spring Friday. In fact, if you encounter someone in a bad mood today, it may be time to reassess that relationship. So we’re ditching the normal and admittedly cringe-inducing dump imagery for IPA smiles. Here’s what’s good:
The future of US soccer. The U-23 USMNT had been showing signs of brilliance, and they pounded Cuba last night, 6-0. Sure, it was Cuba, and they were down a man for 5 of those goals, but still. We should be wearing shades watching Shea, Adu, Agudelo, Corona, et al., play.
Soccer coverage in general. I tell anyone willing to listen that we’re living in a Golden Age of Soccer Fandom. Never before have we had access to more of the sport itself or more gifted commenters. I mean, this Barca analysis is just outstanding. And I just can’t imagine statistical analyses of goal value existing even 5 years ago. Would you have guessed Rooney’s having a down year without it? AND, it’s not just limited to X’s and O’s – there’s also megapixels and woahs. Thank god for the internet.
And also for things that you found out about on the internet, but really want in hard copy.
That being said, some analyses goes a bit far. I have no doubt that Xavi, Iniesta, and Messi could carve solutions to quadratic equations on a pitch. Their parabolas, however, would describe the perfect curve of Dali’s mustache as opposed to weapons shipping.
Speaking of Messi, he’s raining chipped goals over any old goalkeeper he can find. Ronaldo is trundling them in via wheelbarrow. Real’s lead has been trimmed to 6 points with one Clasico left on the schedule. It’s getting real good, people.

Oldie, but beuatifully.
Finally, the best news of all is that Fabrice Muamba is still in the world with us. Other, far better writers have weighed in on the tragedy-turned-inspiration here and here, so I will only add that (1) Fabrice was fortunate to fall where he did (that being in close proximity to well-trained medical professionals as opposed to alone at home or even in a supermarket); (2) it is unfortunate it took that fall for us to learn how inspiring his life story is; and (3) we’re all more fortunate to have him around.
Happy Weekend, Y’all.